February 2, 1999
Cruel Intentions (1999) **
Directed by Roger Kumble. With Sarah Michelle Gellar, Ryan Phillipe and Reese Whitherspoon. Expecting a nightmare of depravity like "Wild Things", I was cruelly disappointed by this contemporary adaptation of "Dangerous Liaisons", set among Park Avenue's preppies and debutantes. There is very little perversity in this piece of monumental anachronism, which tries to adapt the (im)moral values of debauched French aristocrats to the lifestyles of brothers and sisters of Monica Lewinsky. The result is a laughable mess, both tedious and campy. It takes more than ravished virgins or horny stepsisters to arouse my interest. **
The Faculty (1999) **
Slimy (but drugs-free) alien creatures take over the bodies of teachers and students in a small-town Ohio high-school. And so the local Breakfast Club members (a nerd, a gorgeous cheerleader, a quaterback, a drug dealer, a taciturn outcast and a Southern belle) have to stop this Invasion of the Body Snatchers. The best scene has the kids sniffing dope in order to flash out the traitor in their ranks. Mindless and predictable, but actually quite fun.
Entrapment (1999) **
Directed by Jon Amiel. With Sean Connery, Catherine Zeta-Jones and Ving Rhames. An ordinary caper flick about an insurance investigator (Zeta-Jones) teaming up with a seasoned art thief (Connery) to pull off a daring bank robbery. The first hour, set mostly in the medieval Scottish fortress of Castle Duart, is hopelessly tedious. Then, the film moves to Petronas Twin Towers in Kuala Lumpur (the world's tallest buildings) for a moderately exciting climax. But since Zeta-Jones is young enough to be Connery's granddaughter, don't expect much sexual chemistry between the leads.
Encounter In The Third Dimension (1999) **
Directed by Ben Stassen. With Stuart Pankin and Elvira. An IMAX showcase of 3-D computer animation. Plenty of eye-popping rides and other thrills.
In Too Deep (1999) **
Directed by Michael Rymer. With Omar Epps, LL Cool J and Nia Long. An African-American Donnie Brasco, with a black cop (Epps) working deep undercover to expose a ruthless drug lord (Cool J). The opening scene is terrific, using cross-cutting, flashbacks and brechtian distanciation in a new and exciting way. But then, unfortunately, the film settles comfortably on a conventional narrative path, with few surprises or thrills.
The Insider (1999) **
Directed by Michael Mann. Exciting tale about a tobacco-industry whistleblower.
Edge Of Seventeen (1999) **
Directed by David Moreton. With Chris Stafford, Tina Holmes and Anderon Babrych. Set in Sandusky, Ohio in 1984, it's a tender coming-of-age/coming-out-of-the-closet drama, where the issues of sexual identity, friendship and love are debated at length. Less explicit than most contemporary lesbian films, but quite remarkable for its sympathetic portrayal of straight folks (parents, girlfriend, etc.).
Drop Dead Gorgeous (1999) **
Directed by Michael Patrick Jann. With Denise Richards, Kirsten Dunst and Ellen Barkin. Any film that has teen beauty pageant contestants puking their guts out in unisson, can't be all bad. But even that scene isn't as tasteless as the sight of Richards dancing with a crucified Jesus. A badly made, often desperate satire, shot in a documentary style, with plenty of truly outrageous bits, and a delightfully quirky performance by Brittany Murphy (watch her, she's a new-star-in-the-making).
Genghis Blues (1999) **
Documentaire de Roko Belic. Avec Paul Pena. Gagnant d`une dizaine des prix dans plusieurs festivals sur quatre continents, ce documentaire remarquable nous présente deux portraits très intimes: celui de Paul Pena, un musicien blues de San Francisco, et celui de Tuva, une ancienne république soviétique située au centre du continent asiatique, quelque part entre la Mongolie, la Chine et la Sibérie. Le film, tourné par un cinéaste indépendant Roko Belic, prend la forme d`un carnet de voyage de Paul Pena au Tuva en 1995 pour y participer à un festival de la musique folklorique. Les chanteurs tuviens s`expriment avec leur gorges, produisant des sons uniques dans leur genre. Paul Pena reste le seul musicien Occidental qui a réussit à maîtriser cette inhabituelle technique vocale, gagnant même plusieurs prix lors du festival en Tuva.
Blue Streak (1999) **
Directed by Les Mayfield. With Martin Lawrence, Luke Wilson and David Chapelle. A robber (Lawrence) pretends to be a cop in order to recover his loot. This action comedy has a lot going for it - it's fast, funny, and often quite exciting. And yet, like most such Hollywood flicks, it fails to make any impression whatsoever. It's a cinematic equivalent of cotton candy - totally insignificant.
Drive Me Crazy (1999) **
Directed by John Schultz. With Melissa Joan Hart, Adrian Grenier and Stephen Collins. Great songs, gorgeous babes, lousy movie. Hart, with her pouty little mouth and mischievous smile, makes Alicia Silverstone look like an ugly duckling. Unfortunately, her transcendental beauty and considerable acting abilities are completely wasted in this boring teenpic about dates, parties and makovers. It's less offensive than its virtual clone "She's All That", but nowhere nearly as enjoyable.
Baby Geniuses (1999) **
Directed by Bob Clark. With Kathleen Turner, Christopher Lloyd and Kim Cattrall. A toddler genius escapes from a secret lab and reunites with his twin brother. A "Home Alone"-in-diapers, with little kids outsmarting adults and kicking them where it hurts. The kids are unbelievably cute, but some scenes (like where a tot is imitating John Travolta) actually use animation effects.
Galaxy Quest (1999) **
Directed by Dean Parisot. With Tim Allen, Sigourney Weaver, Tony Shalhoub. Imagine William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy and the rest of the Star Trek cast (they actually have different names, but don't let it fool you) being asked by friendly aliens to lead their starship to victory over a race of evil(and slimy) space invaders. Imagine hard-core Trekkies helping to repair the ship's engines. (And this after being mercilessly ridiculed as delusional geeks). Imagine a solidly entertaining sci-fi/adventure film that gleefully deconstructs itself in order to unabashedly celebrate the Star Trek phenomenon.
Inspiré de la grande aventure de la série Star Trek, "Galaxy Quest" est un film à la fois complexe et divertissant. Essayez d'imaginer William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy et les autres acteurs de la fameuse série télé, qui se retrouvent engagés (ou plutôt kidnappés) par des bons extra-terrestres pour combattre leurs méchants ennemis. Ne vous laissez pas dérouter par le fait que les acteurs portent des noms differents - ici, la fiction et la réalité sont entremélés d'une facon extrêmement ingénieuse. On assiste, en effet, à une fascinante analyse brechtienne du phénomène Star Trek, avec des aventures saisissantes, des gags superbes et des effets spéciaux à vous couper le souffle.
Deuce Bigalow Male Gigolo (1999) **
Directed by Mike Mitchell. With Rob Schneider, Arija Bareikis, Gail O'Grady, Jacqueline Obradors and Oded Fehr. Another "fart & puke" comedy - crude, coarse, unrefined...and occassionally quite funny. Schneider plays a fishtank cleaner who decides to become a male gigolo. Well, the pay's better... Plenty of un-PC humor in this one. Turette's syndrome, narcolepsy, obesity - all are fair game.
Cette comedie produit par nulle autre qu'Adam Sandler n'est pas aussi débile qu'elle prétend, mais elle est loin d'être un chef d'oeuvre... Rob Schneider y joue un nettoyeur des aquariums qui décide un jour de changer de boulot et devenir...gigolo. Ca paie mieux...paraît-t-il. Malheureusement, il tombe amoureux d'une jolie cliente qui n`apprécie guère son choix de carrière. Ah, les femmes difficiles... L'humour est grossier...et souvent assez drôle...tant qu'on n'y pense pas trop. Toutes les vaches sacrés (les handicaps, les maladies, les défauts physiques) sont ridiculisées sans merci. C'est peut-être pas "politiquement correcte", mais ici, on s'en fiche royalement.
Limbo (1999) **
Directed by John Sayles. Set in Alaska, the film has the most unforgivably obtuse ending imaginable.
Life (1999) **
Directed by Ted Demme. With Eddie Murphy, Martin Lawrence and Ned Beatty. It's often very funny, but Murphy's latest isn't really a comedy, but a serious drama clearly inspired by "The Shawshank Redemption" (though unfortunately not nearly as good). Underneath the humor hides a profound condemnation of the racial persecution of Blacks in America in the 20th century. Many scenes are quite moving.
The Legend Of 1900 (1999) **
Directed by Giuseppe Tornatore. With Tim Roth, Melanie Thierry and Bill Nunn. Bizarre tale of a brilliant pianist (Roth), born and raised on a luxurious ocean liner, who's afraid to set foot on dry land. This visually amazing, often flamboyant film has channeled its entire creative energy into sets, costumes, cinematography and lightening, while blissfully ignoring such mundane matters as pacing, character developpment and dialogue. It's quite original, all right, but in a very frustrating and pretentious way. Either an allegory about staying in a mother's womb, or just an artsier version of "Titanic". Clearly influenced by Emir Kusturica, it's Giuseppe Tornatore's first English-language (e)pic.
Tea With Mussolini (1999) **
Directed by Franco Zeffirelli. With Joan Plowright, Maggie Smith, Cher and Judi Dench. What's next, "My Dinner With Hitler"? "Milosevic In Love"? Actually, it's a gentle, almost apolitical little drama about a group of excentric English and American ladies in Florence during World War II. Refusing to return home, they are interned as enemy aliens by the Fascist authorities, making life truly miserable for their captors. Often quite funny, the film enfolds at a leisurely pace of a traditional comedy of manners.
Teaching Mrs Teangle (1999) **
Directed by Kevin Williamson. With Helen Mirren, Katie Holmes and Marisa Coughlan. Blonde vixen Coughlan steals the movie with her wacky Exorcist impersonation.
The Talented Mr Ripley (1999) **
Etats-Unis. Drame d'Anthony Minghella. Avec Matt Damon, Gwyneth Paltrow, Jude Law, Cate Blanchett et Philip Seymour Hoffman. Pendant un long séjour en Italie, un riche gateux (Jude Law) fait la rencontre d'un jeune homme mysterieux (Matt Damon) qui prétend être son ancien camarade d'école. Gwyneth Paltrow et Cate Blanchett, deux rivales dans la course aux Oscars l'année dernière, font également partie de la distribution; malheureusement, elles ne partagent qu'une seule scène ensemble. Par contre, l'excellent Matt Damon nous fait preuve encore une fois de son incroyable versatilité dramatique. Et pour une fois, il joue le méchant. L'intrigue est très ingénieuse et pleine de rebondissements, mais il faut se poser une question: les policiers italiens sont-ils aussi incompétents dans la vraie vie que dans ce film?
In sunny Italy, a rich preppie boy (Law) befriends a mysterious young man named Tom Ripley (Damon), who claims to be his old college buddy. Well-acted and quite ingenious at first, this complex murder mystery suffers from a serious lack of credibility. In the real world, Ripley's absurdly convoluted scheme would have collapsed as soon as the police had shown his photograph to all the witnesses.
Stir Of Echoes (1999) **
Directed by David Koepp. With Kevin Bacon, Ileana Douglas and Kathryn Erbe. Bacon plays an ordinary man who gets hypnotized by his sister-in-law and becomes something of a clairvoyant lunatic, getting flashbacks and flash-forwards of various tragedies. It's The Sixth Sense without the mystery and the knockout ending. A relatively well-made mediocrity that just repeats the same old horror-movie cliches over and over again.
Stuart Little (1999) **
Etats-Unis. 1999. Film pour enfants de Rob Minkoff (Le Roi Lion). Avec Geena Davis, Hugh Laurie, Jonathan Lipnicki, les voix de Michael J.Fox et de Nathan Lane. Une famille adopte une petite souris blanche... et très bavarde. Très vite, Stuart devient un membre de la famille à part entière. Mais le chat de famille a d'autres idées en tête. Des idées, disons, culinaires... Nous voilà donc avec une comédie plutot mignone, mais très excitante, pleine des minous féroces qui s'acharnent après notre héro miniscule. L'intrigue (inspiré en partie par "Annie"), est mené tambour battant, avec beaucoup d'action, du suspense et de l'humeur. Un seul défaut: les parents de Stuart, beaucoup trop parfaits pour être vrais et dont la gentillesse excessive frôle un peu la caricature.
Arlington Road (1999) **
Directed by Mark Pellington. With Jeff Bridges, Tim Robbins and Joan Cusack. A university professor (Bridges) befriends a next-door neighbour (Robbins), who might be a dangerous terrorist. Inspired by Oklahoma City, Ruby Ridge and Waco, the film delves into the muddy waters of the right-wing anti-government radicalism in America. Deceptively simple and almost boring at first, the plot takes a truly surprising turn near the end.
Any Given Sunday (1999) **
Etats-Unis. 1999. Drame sportif d'Oliver Stone (Natural Born Killers, JFK, Platoon). Avec Al Pacino, Cameron Diaz, James Woods, Jamie Foxx, Dennis Quaid. Après la Guerre du Vietnam, l'assassinat de JFK et le Watergate, voilà que le cinéaste controversé Oliver Stone s'interesse soudainement... au football. Un vieux entraineur (Al Pacino) doit faire face aux pressions de la proprietaire du club (Cameron Diaz) qui veut se debarasser d'un vieux joueur légendaire (Dennis Quaid) et le remplacer par un jeune joueur plus dynamique (Jamie Foxx). L'inimitable James Wood fait aussi partie de cette distribution superbe. Coté style, "Any Given Sunday" est un film incroyablement dynamique, avec des mouvement vertigineuses de caméra, un rythme narratif époustouflant et un montage endiablé. Evitez surtout les sièges du premier rang dans les cinémas...
Anna And The King (1999) **
Directed by Andy Tennant. With Chow Yun-Fat and Jodie Foster. The fourth motion picture based on Anna Leonowens' memoirs as a governess in the court of King Mongkut of Siam in the 1860s. While the sets and the costumes are very beautiful, the script is horribly dated, even racist. By the standards of her times, Anna Leonowens was certainly a very progressive, almost feminist heroine. But today, her memoirs' blatantly Eurocentric perspective is much harder to swallow.
The Green Mile (1999) **
Directed by Frank Darabont. With Tom Hanks, Gary Sinise, David Morse, Bonnie Hunt and James Cromwell. A black death-row inmate in a Louisiana prison in 1935 performs amazing miracles. His curious jailers (who chase after mice between executions) ask him to cure a woman who's dying of cancer. All the qualities and all the flaws of a typical Hollywood melodrama are brought together in this 3-hour-long cinematic endurance test adapted from a story by Stephen King. It's always interesting, but extremely heavy-handed.
Que dire de ce drame solidement écrit, très émouvant et bien joué, sinon qu'il réunit en lui toutes les qualités et tous les défauts d'un ambitieux mélodrame hollywoodien? Et que dire de cette histoire d'un guérisseur de race noire, condamné à mort en Louisiane en 1935, sinon qu'elle provoque autant d'admiration que de frustration? Adapté d'un roman de Stephen King, "The Green Mille" est un curieux mélange du fantastique (les guérissons miraculeuses) et du drame social (la peine de mort). On nous présente une vision assez particuliÞre du monde pénal, avec des gardiens qui chassent des souris, qui participent aux exécutions, et qui deviennent témoins des miracles surprenants. On ne s'ennuit jamais, bien que l'intrigue traine un peu en longeueur. Et pourtant, côté style, le film souffre d'un académisme facheux. Comme toujours chez Stephen King, on ne réussit pas à transposer les ideés du maître en termes purement visuels.
Goodbye Lover (1999) **
Directed by Roland Joffe. With Patricia Arquette, Dermot Mulroney and Ellen DeGeneres. Having exposed the Pol Pot regime in Cambodia and condemned the persecution of Indians in South America, the author of The Killing Fields and The Mission decided it might be fun to make a trashy erotic thriller about a slutty bitch (Arquette) who sleeps with her brother-in-law while preparing a string of bloody murders. DeGeneres steals the movies as a sarcastic cop always poking fun at her anal-retentive partner. The first hour is excruciatingly boring, but the ending is a hoot.
American Movie (1999) **
Documentaire de Chris Smith. Avec Mark Borchardt, Mike Schank. Une véritable poupée russe cinématographique, "American Movie" est un film documentaire indépendant ayant pour sujet le tournage d'un... autre film indépendant. Mark Borchardt est un jeune cinéaste qui s'acharne à realiser un court métrage d'horreur dans une petite ville américaine (Menomonee Falls au Wisconsin). Il n'a pas d'argent. Ses acteurs ne savent pas jouer. Il fait froid. Bref, le tournage est un désastre total et le film, intitulé "Coven", ne sortira probablement jamais en salles. Par contre, ironiquement, "American Movie", le documentaire sur le tournage chauchemaresque de "Coven", est devenu une une belle réussite. Il a remporté entre-autres le Grand Prix du Jury à Sundance, suivi d'éloges de la presse et du public cinéphile.
Office Space (1999) **
Directed by Mike Judge. With Ron Livingston, Jennifer Aniston and David Herman. This Marxist comedy about trials and tribulations of white-collar wage slaves, owes as much to Karl as to Groucho. The first hour is hilarious, but near the end one can literally hear a fizzling sound as the entire comic potential goes flat.
October Sky (1999) **
Directed by Joe Johnston. With Jake Gyllenhaal, Chris Owen and Laura Dern. In 1957, while Sputniks are flying across the sky, scaring Yankee imperialists out of their wits, a young lad from West Virginia has to choose between mining coal or designing rockets for NASA. Fortunately, it takes him almost two hours to decide, so in the meantime we can admire a very fine example of apple-pie Americana, soiled somewhat by a sprinkle of coal dust, but solidly directed and acted.
SLC Punk (1999) **
Directed by James Merendino. With Matthew Lillard, Annabeth Gish and Devon Sawa. Film about punks in Salt Lake City.
She's All That (1999) **
Directed by Robert Iscove. With Freddie Prinze Jr, Rachael Leigh Cook and Anna Paquin. The most popular guy in school, Zach (Prinze), dumped by his bitchy girlfriend, bets that he can turn an ugly-duckling wallflower Laney (Cook) into a prom queen. It's a perfect misogynist fantasy: a woman as a passive sex object to be dominated and guided by a man, who ultimately transforms her into a glithering trophy. Quite sophisticated and very hip, but guaranteed to boil the blood of any self-respecting feminist. The prom dance sequence, superbly choreographed and edited, is a genuine showstopper. But the misogyny is palpable. Consider the following: Zach tells Laney that he's smarter than her, when Zach is in her world, he triumphs, but Laney fails at everything: volleyball, party, prom queen competition, all women hate each other in this film, the only scene with Laney fighting against a man is off-screen, Zach's sister actively helps him in his romantic conquests. Constrasts that with the fact that Laney is completely surrounded by men (her father, her brother, her fat friend from school, even actors on stage), with everybody encouraging her to give in to Zach; even her father actively helps Zach seduce his own daughter. Even Laney's female teacher suggests her entire success is only due to Zach. And to top it all, in the final scene, Laney smiles looking at Zach's penis, the instrument of his domination over her.
The Wood (1999) **
Directed by Rick Famuyiwa. With Taye Diggs, Omar Epps and LisaRaye. A groom (Diggs) gets cold feet three hours before his wedding and disappears without a trace. His best buddies track him down, and together, they reminisce about their high-school days. A sweet, charming and wonderful romantic drama set in South Central L.A. (the title refers to Inglewood, just west of Watts).
A Walk On The Moon (1999) **
A summer holiday in the Catskills in the summer of 1969, while Neil Armstrong walked on the Moon and hippies gathered next door at Bethel for the Woodstock Festival.
The Rage: Carrie II (1999) **
Directed by Katt Shea. With Emily Bergl, Jason London and Amy Irving. There are really two different films here. First we get a Porky-like "horny teenager" high-school drama about football players seducing virgins, driving them to suicide and videotaping their exploits. Then comes a supernatural horror movie with telekinetic powers shattering glass, demolishing buildings and setting everything on fire. What emerges is a highly moralistic allegory about sexual sinners being devoured by infernal flames. A bad movie, but entertaining in a trashy sort of way.
Varsity Blues (1999) **
There is a fairly decent film here, buried underneath an avalanche of Porky-like sex jokes and cliches (cheerleaders seducing quaterbacks, teachers moonlighting as strippers, fat slobs puking their guts out). A perfect example of an intelligent script being re-written by studio hacks to conform to their warped idea of a successful sports drama. Jon Voight hopelessly overracts, creating a campy caricature of a villain.
20 Dates (1999) **
Directed by Myles Berkowitz. With Myles Berkowitz, Elisabeth Wagner and Tia Carrere. A candid-eye documentary about a real-life L.A. filmmaker going on real dates with real women. Unfortunately, dating in front of an ever-present camera often creates serious intimacy problems. Hilarious at first, the film settles to a fairly monotonous routine, recovers in the second half, but becomes quite contrived near the end. An uneven effort.
Tumbleweeds (1999) **
Directed by Gavin O'Connor. With Janet McTeer, Kimberly J.Brown, Michael J.Pollard, Gavin O'Connor and Jay O.Sanders. Nice little drama about a quirky single mother trying to raise her 12-year-old daughter while desperately searching for men across America. While the film's male characters are quite complex, the representation of women is downright simplistic - every female is an angel. Oh sure, the film will never be accused of being misogynist. But it will never be accused of being realistic, neither.
On a déja vu ce film-là... très recemment. Une mère divorcée qui part en Californie avec sa fille adolescente. La mère et la fille qui s'engueulent... mais qui s'aiment quand-même... évidemment. On l'a vu dans "N'importe où sauf ici". On l'a vu aussi (avec quelques légères modifications) dans "Les Sirènes", dans "Alice n'est plus ici" et dans plusieurs autres mélodrames gentils, parfois drôles, mais toujours un peu trop sentimentals. A l'instar de ses prédécesseurs, "Tumbleweeds" introduit certaines thèmes plutôt serieuses: la violence conjugale, la recherche de la stabilité familiale et emotionelle, la sexualité adolescente... Mais malheureusement, le film ne réussit jamais à surmonter sa manque d'originalité. Il nous reste une oeuvre bien joué, assez sympathique, mais qu'on oublie facilement.
Playing By Heart (1999) **
A classy soap opera, set in L.A., quite reminiscent of "Short Cuts" (1993).
Trekkies (1999) **
Directed by Roger Nygard. With Denise Crosby, Leonard Nimoy and William Shatner. Everything you ever wanted to know about Vulcan ears, Romulan mating rituals and the cultural significance of Scotty's metaphors. There isn't a whiff of mockery towards Star Trek fans in this frankly reverential documentary about 20th-century's most bizarre cult phenomenon. So while the Bible is being translated into Klingon, William Shatner needs to once again scream on top of his lungs: "Get a life!"
The Thirteenth Floor (1999) **
Directed by Joseph Rusnak. With Craig Bierko, Gretchen Moll and Vincent D'Onofrio. Unlike a similarly high-conceptualized Matrix, this film ignores action sequences in favor of tightly-scripted, film-noirish plot twists and clever surprises. A yet another film where everything might be a computer-generated illusion, but more celebral than most. A high-tech The Thin Man for the 90's.
Mystery Alaska (1999) **
Directed by M. Jay Roach. With Russell Crowe, Burt Reynolds and Hank Azaria. An amateur hockey team from a small town in Alaska is selected to play against New York Rangers. A Northern Exposure on ice, with quirky characters, original ideas and a refreshing laid-back attitude towards everything. Plotwise, it's extremely predictable, but there are enough delightful details (supporting characters, relationships, incidents, one-liners, bits of scenery) to fill ten movies.
The Mummy (1999) **
Directed by Stephen Sommers. With Brendan Fraser, Rachel Weisz and John Hannah. An intentionally campy pastiche of the Indiana Jones series, with wacky archeologists, trigger-happy Bedouins, ditzy dames, pesky insects and frequent sandstorms. The story begins in Ancient Egypt, with a tragic love affair between a horny priest and a pharaoh's sexy mistress. 3,000 years later, the spirit of the priest is ressurected, unleashing a series of deadly plagues. It's more fun than "The Prince Of Egypt", but hardly memorable.
Monument Ave (1999) **
Set in an Irish working-class neighborhood in Boston, where JFK is still revered like a divinity, it's a story of small-time hoodlum (Leary) caught between an evil crime boss (Meaney) and a tough cop (Sheen). Clearly inspired by the DeNiro segment of "The Godfather Part II", it features rock-solid performances and a few clever lines.
A Midsummer Night's Dream (1999) **
Directed by Michael Hoffman. Calista Flockhart, Michelle Pfeiffer, Kevin Kline, David Strathairn, Sophie Marceau, Stanley Tucci and Sam Rockwell star in this sexy adaptation of Shakespeare's famous comedy.
January 1, 1999
The King And I (1999) *
Directed by Richard Rich. Fans of Rogers and Hammerstein will have a hard time recognizing their favorite musical: there are fearsome dragons, playful monkeys, last-minute rescues in balloons, and fat clowns getting their teeth knocked out. The songs are still there, but even such standards as "Shall We Dance" and "Getting To Know You" are performed very poorly. Kids might like it, but adults would be better off renting the 1956 live-action classic starring Yul Brynner.
Jacob The Liar (1999) *
Directed by Peter Kassovitz. With Robin Williams, Alan Arkin and Nina Siemiaszko. This lame comedy about the Holocaust is an inevitable, but unfortunate consequence of the world-wide success of Life Is Beautiful. Williams plays a Jewish man in German-occupied Poland who tries to cheer up his friends by inventing stories of Soviet troop advances. The humor seems forced, as the filmmakers are clearly afraid to push the enveloppe, settling for safe and familiar jokes (like that perennial anecdote about Hitler dying on a Jewish holiday).
The Best Man (1999) *
Directed by Malcolm D.Lee. With Taye Diggs, Nia Long and Morris Chestnut. I heard the best man had once slept with the bride... I bet the groom isn't very happy about it.... Will the wedding be called off? Somebody told me they had a fight... Did you see that bruise under his eye? They should make that into a movie, man ...
Double Jeopardy (1999) *
Directed by Bruce Beresford. With Ashley Judd, Tommy Lee Jones, and Bruce Greenwood. Ridiculously contrived, badly directed thriller about a beautiful young woman (Judd) falsely convicted of murdering her husband. Having spent six years in prison, she is determined to settle the score, knowing she can't be convicted again for the same crime. There might be a feminist message buried underneath this pile of cliches, but digging it up is a fairly hopeless exercice.
10 Things I Hate About You (1999) *
Directed by Gil Junger. With Julia Stiles, Heath Ledger and Larissa Oleynik. A failed adaptation of The Taming Of The Shrew. It stays with Shakespeare for exactly five minutes, the time to introduce the main characters and sketch the rough outlines of the plot, but then plunges head on into the muck of the most tired high school pic cliches. While some female characters are very interesting, the film can't quite escape its sexist origins.
The Very Thought Of You (1999) *
A romantic comedy about three friends falling for the same woman (Monica Potter).
Notting Hill (1999) *
Directed by Roger Michell. With Hugh Grant, Julia Roberts and Rhys Ifans. A mawkish, saccharine fairy-tale about a secret romance between a glamorous movie star (Roberts) and a gentle bookstore owner (Grant). There are a couple of amusing supporting characters (a dirty slob of a roommate, a wacky sister), but the leads are hopelessly boring.
Anywhere But Here (1999) *
Directed by Wayne Wang. With Susan Sarandon, Natalie Portman and Bonnie Bedelia. Forever embarassed by her eccentric mother (Sarandon), a young Wisconsin girl (Portman) finds it difficult to feel at home in sunny California. But, this being a typical Hollywood melodrama, she overcomes all the usual obstacles and gradually comes to accept her mother's love and possessiveness. Bottom line: fine acting, so-so script, and a critical shortage of original ideas.
The Out-Of-Towners (1999) *
Directed by Sam Weisman. With Steve Martin, Goldie Hawn, John Cleese and Rudolph Giuliani. Annoying slapstick farce about two hicks from Ohio (Martin and Hawn) arriving in New York City and getting in all kinds of troubles. Highlighs include...actually, there are no highlights, just plenty of tired, familiar routines (hanging from balconies, getting arrested, being chased by dogs...). Cleese reprises his Basil Fawlty persona playing an obnoxious hotel manager.
Payback (1999) *
Directed by Brian Helgeland. With Mel Gibson, Maria Bello and Deborah Kara Unger. An extremely unpleasant black comedy about a sadistic gangster (Gibson) fighting against an entire crime syndicate. The main motif of this picture is pain: every human interaction involves either a whipping, a gunshot, a bite, a smack, an explosion, or some other form of severe bodily harm. It's clearly meant to be funny, but it provokes about as much hilarity as a root canal without anaesthesia.
Random Hearts (1999) *
Directed by Sydney Pollack. With Harrison Ford, Kristin Scott Thomas and Bonnie Hunt. There are three different movies here; and all equally bad. There is a psychological drama about a man discovering his wife's infidelity. There is a thriller about police corruption. And there is also a romantic melodrama about a cop falling in love with a congresswoman. The film is alternately boring (the pacing is quite sluggish) and downright ridiculous (especially during the loves scenes between Ford and Scott Thomas).
Love Stinks (1999) *
Directed by Jeff Franklin. With French Stewart, Bridgette Wilson and Tyra Banks. It's not everyday one gets a chance to see the most mysogynist movie of all time! This mind-boggling piece of sexist hate propaganda features a manipulative blonde bimbo (Wilson) first trying to marry a rich guy (Stewart) and then saddling him with a palimony suit when he refuses. The account is so unbelievably one-sided, it could have only been written by a vindictive macho loser, recently dumped by his girlfriend. Deservedly so.
Never Been Kissed (1999) *
Directed by Raja Gosnell. With Drew Barrymore, Molly Shannon and David Arquette. An awful teenpic about a Chicago reporter (Barrymore) working undercover as a high school student, trying to frame an ordinary teacher in a sex scandal. There are some gorgeous babes who like to dress as Barbie dolls, and weird lectures about sex (courtesy of Molly Shannon), but the plot has more holes than a Swiss cheese and smells just as bad.
My Favorite Martian (1999) *
Drected by Donald Petrie. With Jeff Daniels, Christopher Lloyd and Elizabeth Hurley. Mindless, boring and incoherent comedy about a visitor from Mars (Lloyd) befriending a TV reporter (Daniels). There is one exciting car chase that begins on the street, continues through a sewer pipe and ends inside a toilet bowl. It serves as a perfect metaphor for this abysmal kiddie fare, where low-brow humor rules, and any sign of intelligence is ruthlessly exterminated.
Light It Up (1999) *
Directed by Craig Bolotin. With Sara Gilbert, Forrest Whitaker and Usher Raymond. Rebellious students take over a inner-city high school, holding a cop hostage and making political demands for better learning conditions. It's a weird film which tries to accomodate three very different genres: a "heroic teacher" melodrama like Dangerous Minds, a hostage thriller like The Negotiator and an Old Left political drama like Medium Cool. Needless to say, it utterly fails to reconcile their widely divergent goals and styles.
Muppets From Space (1999) *
Directed by Tim Hill. With Kermit, Miss Piggy and Gonzo. It turns out Gonzo is really a space alien, left accidently on Earth by his family. And now his folks are back desperately looking for him. A puppet/Muppet version of Close Encounters Of The Third Kind. Younger kids might like it, but adults beware. Katie Holmes, Andie McDowell and Ray Liotta make brief and totally unmemorable cameo appearances.
Message In The Bottle (1999) *
Directed by Luis Mandoki. With Kevin Costner, Robin Wright Penn and John Savage. Ridiculous is the only word that can accurately describe this sappy melodrama about a Chicago journalist (Wright Penn) romancing a North Carolina shipbuilder (Costner). The fact that the old seawolf is still grieving for his late wife somehow makes him incredibly attractive to her. Lots of handkerchiefs with be soaked with tears of sentimental suckers who ought to be laughing hysterically instead.
Mansfield Park (1999) *
Directed by Patricia Rozema. Frances O'Connor and Embeth Davitz star in this frustratingly modern re-telling of Jane Austen's most brilliant, yet least popular novel. Unconditional Austen purist will be shocked by the cavalier attitude Ms Rozema has taken towards a literary classic, turning positive characters into monstruous villains, while totally eliminating Austen's uniquely subversive wit and replacing it with shrill, victimologist rhetoric.
The House On Haunted Hill (1999) *
Directed by William Malone. With Geoffrey Rush, Famke Janssen and Taye Diggs. Half a dozen annoying (and greedy) morons agree to spend a night in a haunted house in order to win one million dollars. Dumb and very predictable, the film might be creepy, but not particularly scary. In fact, the protagonists are so unbelievably obnoxious, their gruesome deaths come none too soon for me.
Happy Texas (1999) *
Directed by Mark Illsley. With Steve Zahn, Jeremy Northam and William H.Macy. A good-natured, but ultimately failed farce about two convicts on the lam who find themselves in a small Texas town hosting a beauty pageant for little girls. The film carefully avoids any narrative compulsions, focusing squarely on its protagonists, and trying desperately to squeeze every ounce of humor of out of their predicaments. Unfortunately, there is no chemistry between Zahn and Northam. The latter's foppish-dandy mannerisms are just plain annoying and they hardly fit with Zahn's clenched-teeth-and-burning-eyes approach to comedy acting.
For The Love Of The Game (1999) *
Directed by Sam Raimi. With Kevin Costner, Kelly Preston and Jena Malone. An aging baseball player (Costner) has an affair with a writer (Preston). It's an amalgam of every Hollywood cliche under the sun, presented raw, without any self-reflexive irony to cushion the blow. The only bright spot is Malone (Bastard Out Of Carolina, Stepmom), wonderfully underplaying her bit part as Preston's rebellious daughter.
8MM (1999) *
Directed by Joel Schumacher. With Nicolas Cage, Joaquin Phoenix and Chris Bauer. A private investigator (Cage) tracks down people who have been involved in the making of a gruesome snuff movie. "8MM" is clearly fascinated by its subject matter, but far too hypocritical to admit it. Instead, it lamely tries to sound morally outraged, exploring the ethical aspects of snuff filmmaking and coming up with a truly Earth-shattering verdict: snuff pornographers - bad, people who kill them - good.
Dudley-Do-Right (1999) *
Directed by Hugh Wilson. With Brendan Fraser, Sarah Jessica Parker and Alfred Molina. Even Fraser's goofy smile can't save this totally inane adaptation of Jay Ward's classic cartoon series about a Mountie. All jokes fall flat and there is an air of embarassing desperation about the whole thing.
Doug's 1st Movie (1999) *
Directed by Maurice Joyce. Hopefully, the last one too, 'cause Doug's just a wimpy moron with a dumb girlfriend. Trying to expose a terrible pollution problems, he befriends a gentle lake monster. Compared to this, The Rugrats Movie is a major work of art.
Dog Park (1999) *
Directed by Bruce McCulloch. With Natasha Henstridge, Luke Wilson and Janeane Garofalo. The plot of this lame romantic comedy offers a tangled web of ridiculously contrived relationships and coincidences involving dog owners of both sexes chasing after each other. The untangling of those threads represents the only form of narrative there is, leaving the film with nothing but atrocious dialogue and some truly embarassing acting to keep itself occupied. Pratically every line consists of illogical and bewildering utterances, all blissfully unconnected to each other.
The Pornographer (1999) *
Directed by Doug Atchinson. This film manages to be sleazy and moralistic at the same time.
Dick (1999) *
Directed by Andrew Fleming. With Kirsten Dunst, Michelle Williams and Dan Hedaya. You don't have to be a Republican to hate this lame and politically misguided flick about two teenage girls working in Nixon's White House. Trying to find humor in the Watergate scandal, the film ends up turning everybody (from Nixon to Woodward and Bernstein) into creepy buffoons. To quote from the film itself, "You suck, Dick".
Ride With The Devil (1999) *
The American Civil War in Missouri. Southern guerillas fighting against Federal troops.
Simply Irresistible (1999) *
Directed by Mark Talov. With Sarah Michelle Gellar, Sean Patrick Flanagan and Dylan Baker. A singularly inappropriate title for a simply awful movie about a perky chef (Gellar) trying to seduce a department-store executive (Flanagan). She cooks him some tasty dishes, they both float around like balloons, he suspects her of being a nasty witch, and...you get the picture. Some ideas might have been stolen from "Like Water For Chocolate", but this film is terrible in its own inimitable way.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)