Film Dictionary

January 1, 1997

A Simple Wish (1997) *

Terrible film about a little girl (Mara Wilson) and her fairy godmother (Martin Short).

Seven Years In Tibet (1997) *

True story of a Nazi mountain climber who escaped from a British internement camp in India, found refuge in Tibet and befriended the young Dalai Lama.

A goofy computer nerd joins the first manned mission to Mars. This film would have worked better as a parody of "Apollo 13". Instead, it's just a vehicle for the newest Jim Carrey wannabe, Harland Williams. If you love toilet humor, be prepared for a couple of real stinkers. Hold your nose and enjoy.

Austin Powers International Man Of Mystery (1997) *

This film tries hard (too hard) to spoof every single James Bond movie, and "Blow Up" (1967) as well. Instead of being funny, it's merely pathetic and embarassing. But Elizabeth Hurley is one sexy babe!

Anna Oz (1997) *

Clearly inspired by Kieslowski's "La Double vie de Veronique", only much more bizarre.

Anaconda (1997) *

A monstruously huge snake attacks a film crew exploring the Amazonian jungle.

An American Werewolf In Paris (1997) *

French skinhead werewolves, angry at American cultural imperialists and other degenerates, are hunting down Yankee tourists in Paris. One of the them falls in love with a female werewolf (or is that a were-she-wolf ?). Plenty of slapstick, bungee-jumping and howling, but nothing very scary. A failure.

All Over Me (1997) *

A frienship between two young girls - gay bashing, petty jealousies, lesbian attractions.

Aldous Huxley The Gravity Of Light (1997) *

A documentary about a guru of the 1960's hippies.

Air Bud (1997) *

A dog can play basketball! Imagine that. Adult viewers will struggle hard to stay awake, but little tots might eat it up along with their crayons. Films about young boys and their pet pooches are a dime-a-dozen; wake me up when they finally make a good one.

Addicted To Love (1997) *

Matthew Broderick and Meg Ryan play a pair of scheming voyeurs trying to get even with their former partners.

The Rainmaker (1997) *

A young lawyer is suing a big insurance company that refused to pay for a bone-marrow transplant for a young boy suffering from leukemia. It's not a bad movie, just a dishonest and manipulative one. Barely hidden among its narrative elements is an obvious piece of political propaganda - the glorification of lawsuits.

Fetishes (1997) **

Everything you never wanted to know about bondage, whipping, dominatrixes, dungeons, sadists, masochists and humiliation. Extremely unpleasant (especially when dealing with members of various persecuted minorities asking for racist forms of domination). Yet, the film is surprisingly unexploitive. It's the subject, not the way it's presented, that's truly shocking here.

Murder At 1600 (1997) *

Solid, but very predictable thriller about a murder at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue in Washington, DC.

Mr Nice Guy (1997) *

Not since the early 80's did Jackie Chan appear in a more incompetently directed, disorganized and cliche-ridden flick. Those who haven't seen any of his movies, might enjoy some of the action scenes, but his loyal fans, used to far better things, will be bitterly disappointed.

Mr Magoo (1997) *

Moderately entertaining, but hardly memorable, live-action comedy based on the classic UPA cartoons from the 1950's. In those films, Jim Backus' original character was a bullheaded and very opinionated old geezer, who clearly needed glasses, but was too stubborn to admit it. In this film, Nielson's Magoo is a myopic old gentleman who happens to be kind and sentimental - a far less interesting figure. According to the credits, the film is not "an accurate portrayal of blindness or poor eyesight". What a relief!

MouseHunt (1997) *

Wretched and stupid movie about a filthy rodent who makes life miserable for two rather sympathetic (but very dumb) brothers. By comparison, the "Home Alone" movies are Oscar material. Few films have such ugly-ass sets and interior designs.

Mortal Kombat Annihilation (1997) *

The evil warlords from Outworld will take over the Earth unless a band of fearless fighters... You know the drill. Ed Wood could have written a better screenplay. Worse still, the martial arts sequences are below average. The only highlight: blond Sonya in a tight T-shirt, wallowing in the mud. Princess Kitana's leather outfit isn't bad, neither.

Money Talk (1997) *

This interracial buddy comedy has more clichés than a 19th-century photo camera. It's a "wunza" movie: one's a black street hustler, one'a a white reporter. They are chased by cops. They steal diamonds from French terrorists. They run some more. There is a big shootout and the bad guys die. Sorry for revealing the ending.

Mimic (1997) *

Gross and disgusting horror film about giant bugs in New York City.

Kull The Conqueror (1997) *

Aren't we supposed to live in the age of post-modernist irony, satire and self-reflexivity, where such dead-serious, pompous, self-important and totally unhip movies are at the receiving end of ripe tomatoes and rotten eggs? This sword and sorcery film would have been just fine 10 or 20 years earlier, but in 1997 it was hopelessly out of style.

Island On Bird Street (1997) *

A little Jewish boy hides in the ruins of a ghetto in Nazi-occupied Poland.

Inventing The Abbotts (1997) *

Had this film been made in the late 50's (i.e. at the time its action is set), it would have been a fairly decent soap opera in the "Peyton Place" (1957) mold. Made in 1997, it's hopelessly out of date.

Confessions Of A Rabid Dog (1997) *

Confessions of heroin addicts.

The Matchmaker (1997) *

A totally failed attempt to make another "Local Hero".

Love! Valour! Compassion! (1997) *

Story of eight gay men who spend three summer weekends together.

A Life Less Ordinary (1997) *

A disaster of apocalyptic proportions.

Liar Liar (1997) *

All the good jokes from this Jum Carrey comedy have already been revealed in the trailer.

Waco The Rules Of Engagement (1997) *

A documentary about the tragic events at Waco in 1993. The film tries hard to present David Koresh as an innocent victim, but it only succeeds at making the ATF and the FBI look like "jack-booted thugs". What finally emerge is a confrontation between religious fanaticism and "law-and-order" fanaticism. Depressing.

Leave It To Beaver (1997) *

After the undeserved success of "The Brady Bunch Movie", a big screen adaptation of "Leave It To Beaver" was inevitable. There are many problems with this film: little Beaver Cleaver is sickingly cute and adorable, his mother wears way too much makeup (she looks like a high-class hooker) and his brother's 12-year-old girlfriend seems to have wandered off the set of "Lolita". Those subversive touches aside, it's a pretty boring movie.

Critical Care (1997) *

Black comedy about a terminally ill patient.

A Couch In New York (1997) *

William Hurt and Juliette Binoche star in this largely unsuccessful, but ambitious film about a New York psychiatrist and a Parisian woman.

Conspiracy Theory (1997) *

Lame thriller starring Mel Gibson and Julia Roberts.

City Of Industry (1997) *

Ugly and predictable gangster film about betrayal and revenge.

Trial And Error (1997) *

Courtroom comedy starring Michael Richards and Jeff Daniels.

Fast, Cheap And Out Of Control (1997) *

Somewhat baffling documentary about trained circus animals, little mole rats digging their tunnels and robots imitating animal movements.

'Til There Was You (1997) *

The script promises a romantic comedy in the vein of "Sleepless In Seattle", but the finished film is an undigestible turkey that peeps, creaks and squeaks for almost two hours, torturing viewers unfortunate enough to have wandered into a cinema whose owners were dumb enough to have booked it. Viewers should probably initiate a class action lawsuit against the makers of this film for causing them mental anguish, emotional distress and the loss of faith in cinematic art.

Expectations (1997) *

Disjointed film about several families and their problems.

Excess Baggage (1997) *

It's a sorry spectacle to see Alicia Silverstone's once-promising career crash and burn with this thoroughly wretched movie. She plays a spoiled teenager who stages her own kidnapping to get daddy's attention. Even her pouting (so adorable in "Clueless") is really annoying in this film.

Eisenstein In Mexico (1997) *

Documentary about the filming of "Que viva Mexico".

Steel (1997) *

A jaw-droppingly bad rip-off of "Batman" and "RoboCop", with poor Shak sweating it under a suit of armour, fighting against evil arms dealers and being chased by stupid LAPD cops. This film makes "Spawn" look moderately watchable. Irma T.Hall, the face-slapping matron from "Nothing To Loose", makes an appearance again, but sadly, doesn't beat anybody up. Hopefully, she was busier off-screen, giving a well-deserved trashing to the director, the writer, the producer ...

The Edge (1997) *

The concept of masculinity is explored in this film set in Alaska.

Sprung (1997) *

Two young people fall in love, but their evil friends try to wreck their happiness. Imagine "Booty Call" (hardly a good film to begin with), with its small residue of wit and charm completely obliterated and replaced by saccharine sentimentality and mind-boggling vulgarity. This film leaves a particularly unpleasant aftertaste.

Speed 2: Cruise Control (1997) *

Very disappointing sequel to the 1994 classic.

Spawn (1997) *

This film makes "Batman & Robin" look like a masterpiece.

Soul Food (1997) *

It's basically a soap opera, quite similar to "Waiting To Exhale", but far, far less feminist. In fact, it's quite fallocentric, though never seriously sexist. The story revolves around three sisters: one with a successful career, another with a successful marriage and a third one with a little of both. Then, their mother, a powerful matriarch (played by unforgettable Irma P.Hall) suffers a severe stroke and the family slowly begins to disintegrate. Notably absent is a strong patriarchal figure. That, the film seems to suggest, is the cause of all problems.

A Smile Like Yours (1997) *

A young couple has to cope with visits to a fertility clinic and mutual suspicions of infidelity. This is a truly atrocious film - sappy, sickening, unpleasant and depressing. The husband is only wimpy; the wife is wimpy and bitchy. Only the "other woman" (gorgeous Jill Henessy) is a sympathetic character. Some details - like the shapes of certain gynecological instruments - are just plain disgusting, but the whole film has a cruel and mean-spirited streak running through it. Calling it a soap opera would be an insult to that venerable and distinguished genre.

Skin Deep (1997) *

Tatoos, transvestites, lesbian filmmakers...

Devil's Own (1997) *

Predictable thriller about an Irish terrorist (Brad Pitt) and a New York cop (Harrison Ford).

The Postman (1997) *

In a post-apocalyptic future, a postman leads a revolt against white-suprematist militia armies. It's a sincere, super-patriotic drama that tries to celebrate the human spirit, but only manages to make fun of it. Don't expect "Waterworld"; this film is even worse than "Dances With Wolves". Kevin Costner is being incredibly ambitious here - he just falls on his face.

The Daytrippers (1997) *

A young woman suspects her husband of cheating on her and ask her family to help her investigate.

Home Alone 3 (1997) *

This is a feature-length, live-action Road Runner cartoon with four coyotes (actually ultra-cool international spies looking for a secret computer chip) getting electrocuted, smashed, hit, soaked, frozen and maimed by a bratty kid with chicken pox. Alex D. Linz ain't Macaulay Culkin, but the villains are quite good - they act as if it was a serious spy thriller, not a slapstick farce.

Playing God (1997) *

Tarantino-light, starring David Duchovny as a drug-addicted physician consorting with gangsters.

The Peacemaker (1997) *

DreamWorks' first film is a third rate Tom Clancy imitation (minus Harrison Ford), with plenty of gung-ho jingoism and anti-Slavic xenophobia. Wouldn't it be refreshing to have a, say, Icelandic villain for a change ? While an evil Serb leader gets a nuclear weapon from an evil Russian general and tries to detonate it in New York City, viewers are left to ponder the sorry state of Hollywood cinema, where even vicious ethnic stereotypes are more boring than offensive.

A Gun For Jennifer (1997) *

A variation on "Ms 45". Not sleazy enough.

Gummo (1997) *

Disgusting film about inbred white trash freaks murdering stray cats and acting like jerks. The less said about this stinking piece of cinematic "merde" the better.

Gray's Anatomy (1997) *

Spalding Gray's monologues about his eye problems.

Good Burger (1997) *

A propaganda film made to convince African-Americans that flipping burgers for a minimum wage can be fun. It's all about a rivalry between two junk-food joints, "Good Burger" (the good guys) and "Mondo Burger" (the bad guys). You'll puke your guts out after tasting this cinematic equivalent of an overcooked, salmonela-infested burger whose meat came from a mad British cow. Movies just don't get any worse than that - it's not even dumb enough to qualify as camp.

George Of The Jungle (1997) *

Infantile, but watchable parody of the "Tarzan" movies.

Fresh Blood: A Consideration Of Belonging (1997) *

A Jewish woman explores her complex family roots that lead from Poland and Iraq to Israel and Canada.

Free Willy 3: The Rescue (1997) *

Brave ecologists try to stop nasty whale hunters from turning Willy into sushi. One almost roots for the villains, if only to kill any chance of yet another sequel. After all, Willy must be tired of being typecast as a gentle, frolicking orca and might be ready for a more meaty part in one of those "gourmet cuisine" flicks like "Babette's Feast" or "Eat Drink Man Woman" (using a stunt double, of course). Anyone for "Willy à la sauce tartare" ?

Four Little Girls (1997) *

This documentary about civil rights struggles in Birmingham, Alabama in 1963, was directed by Spike Lee.

For Richer Or Poorer (1997) *

A rich couple (Tim Allen and Kirstie Alley imitating Donald and Ivana) hides from the IRS among the Pennsylvania Dutch. This sentimental comedy really celebrates the joys of simple country life: milking cows, scrubbing floors, plowing the fields, sowing quilts, waking up at 4:45 AM... If you're dying to see an Amish fashion show - here's your chance, but don't expect any laughs.

Flubber (1997) *

A watchable remake of the 1961 mini-classic, "The Absent-Minded Professor". Your level of appreciation of this film will be inversely proportional to your age. Kids should love it, but if you're an adult - run for your life!! Robin Williams' shtick is really getting tired.

Batman & Robin (1997) *

Undoubtedly the worst of all Batman movies, because it lacks an over-the-top villain like Jocker, Catwoman or Riddler. Instead, we get Alicia Silverstone as Batgirl, Uma Thurman as Poison Ivy and Arnold Schwarzenegger as Mr Freeze.

Fire Down Below (1997) *

Note to every actor in Hollywood: never, ever work with Kris Kristofferson - there is a curse on him. Nearly all his movies were disasters of apocalyptic proportions; remember "The Last Movie", "Heaven's Gate" or "Amerika" ? Poor Steven Seagal didn't heed the warning and the result is the worst picture he ever made - an absolutely unwatchable, tedious mess about barefooted hillbillies in eastern Kentucky.

Bang (1997) *

An out-of-work actress (Darling Narita, an Indie Spirit nominee), repeatedly abused by various slimeballs, finally snaps, ties a lecherous cop to a tree, steals his uniform and his gun, and tries to get even with macho chauvinists. The film fails both as a feminist manifesto and as a cheap exploitation flick, because the director is too intimidated by the sleazy elements that are inherent to such material.

Fierce Creatures (1997) *

It's not a sequel to "A Fish Called Wanda", but it has the same cast - John Cleese, Jamie Lee Curtis, Kevin Kline and Michael Palin. There are a few mildly amusing gags, but overall it's a very disappointing failure.

Out To Sea (1997) *

"Grumpy Old Men" on "The Love Boat" ? Or "The Odd Couple" on "Cruise Control" ? *

One Night Stand (1997) *

Mike Figgis' film about adultery, starring Wesley Snipes, Nastassja Kinski and Robert Downey Jr.

Night Falls On Manhattan (1997) *

Police corruption in New York City.

Vegas Vacation (1997) *

A dumb and dull Chevy Chase "comedy". Did that sorry asshole ever made a good film ? If he did, it was a very long time ago.

Warriors Of Virtue (1997) *

A young boy finds himself in a strange land.

Wedding Bell Blues (1997) *

Three young women and their men/sex/romantic problems. The genesis of this stinking turkey could undoubtedly be traced to a talent-impaired Hollywood hack writer who was dumped by his/her one and only, got severely depressed and concocted the script while pigging out on ice cream and/or sticking needles in a voodoo doll. How bad is this film ? Worse than a bee sting, as fun as a dog bite and barely more enjoyable than a root canal. For cine-masochists only.

Wishmaster (1997) *

A genie from ancien Persia wrecks havoc in America. An average horror movie, neither scary nor witty, but prepostrously somber and serious. Forget Robin Williams and "Aladdin", this genie is a mean bastard. His victims are such morons (and their wishes so dumb), they get what they deserve. Even the final twist is disappointing.

December 12, 1996

Top 10 Films of 1996

1. ''Breaking The Waves'' (Lars von Trier, UK)

2. "Fargo" (Joel Coen, USA)

3. "Private Confessions" (Liv Ullmann, Sweden)

4. "Once Upon A Time In Triad Society" (Cha Chuen-Yee, Hong Kong)

5. ''Trainspotting'' (Danny Boyle, UK)

6. ''Bound'' (Lana and Lilly Wachowski, USA)

7. "Romeo And Juliet" (Baz Luhrmann, USA)

8. "Michael Collins" (Neil Jordan, UK)

9. "The Frighteners" (Peter Jackson, New Zealand)

10. "Beaumarchais l'insolent" (Édouard Molinaro, France)

Other great films:

Un Air de famille (France)
Bastard Out Of Carolina

Beauty's Punishment

Beavis And Butt-head Do America

Beyond Silence (Germany)

Black Mask (Hong Kong)

Boston Kickout

Brassed Off (UK)
Brigands, Chapter VII (Georgia)
Broken Arrow
The Celluloid Closet

Citizen Ruth

Conte d'ete (France)

The Crucible
Curtis's Charm (Canada)
Dead Man

Deep Crimson (Mexico)

Drifting Clouds (Finland)

Emma

Eraser
Everyone Says I Love You
Evita

First Strike (Hong Kong)
Flirt
Fly Away Home

For Ever Mozart (Switzerland)

From Dusk Till Dawn

From The Journals Of Jean Seberg

Fudoh (Japan)
Gabbeh (Iran)

Gonin 2 (Japan)

Goodbye South Goodbye (Taiwan)
Grace Of My Heart
Hamlet (UK)

Hotel de Love (Australia)

The Hunchback Of Notre Dame
Independence Day

I Shot Andy Warhol
James And The Giant Peach

Love Serenade (Australia)

Matilda

Mon homme (France)
Mission Impossible

Once Upon A Time In Triad Society 2 (Hong Kong)
Palace (Spain)
Panna Nikt (Poland)

Parade Parade (Japan)

Le Polygraphe (Canada)

Ponette (France)

Pulkownik Kwiatkowski (Poland)

Ridicule (France)

The Rock

Scorpio Nights 2 (Philippines)

Scream
Secrets And Lies (UK)

Sex And Zen II (Hong Kong)
Shall We Dance (Japan)

Shaman (Russia)

She's The One

Shine (Australia)

Sling Blade

Surviving Picasso

Swallowtail Butterfly (Japan)

Szabla od Komendanta (Poland)

Szamanka (Poland)

That Thing You Do !

La Vie de Marianne (France)

Viva Erotica (Hong Kong)

Welcome To The Dollhouse
When We Were Kings
Young And Dangerous (Hong Kong)
Zero Woman: Assassin Lovers (Japan)

Top 10 Guilty Pleasures of 1996:

1. "Crash" (David Cronenberg, Canada)

2. "The People Vs Larry Flynt" (Milos Forman, Columbia)

3. "Comment je me suis dispute ma vie sexuelle" (Arnaud Desplechin, France)

4. "Chloe" (Dennis Berry, France)

5. "Les Voleurs" (André Téchiné, France)

6. "Beyond The Clouds" (Michelangelo Antonioni, Wim Wenders, Italy)

7. "Nic smiesznego" (Marek Koterski, Poland)

8. "The Lady In Blue" (Michael Paul Girard, USA)

9. "The Ebola Syndrome" (Herman Yau, Hong Kong)

10. "Bobby Sox" (Paul Thomas, USA)

Short Top 3:

1."Ballad Of The Skeletons" (Gus Van Sant, USA)

2. "L'Amateur" (Olivier Smolders, Belgium)

3. "Bien sous tous rapports" (Marina De Van, France)

Other great shorts:

The Black Glove

Cadavres exquis (Canada)

Top 3 Music Videos:

1. "Plus haut" (Jean-Luc Godard, France Gall)

2. "Tonight Tonight" (Dayton and Faris, The Smashing Pumpkins)

3. "Big Me" (Jesse Peretz, Foo Fighters)

Top Musical of 1996

"That Thing You Do!" (Tom Hanks, 20th-Fox)

November 11, 1996

Fargo (1996) *****

Breaking The Waves (1996) *****

Once Upon A Time In Triad Society (1996) *****

Leck Kwan is the scamiest and vilest gangster in Hong Kong. On a nice day, he will kill a tailor, try to rape his daughter and then sell her as a hooker to a bordello in the Middle East. Shot by fellow gangsters, he's transported to a hospital, but nobody there wants to treat his wounds. Everyone would like to see the last of Leck Kwan. Is he really such a bad person ? In the first flashback, Leck tells us a bullshit story about his childhood: what a nice boy he was, how he was forced to join the triads, how his friends betrayed him, how his pregnant wife was killed by gangsters. All lies. Then, Leck tells the true story: how he killed his best friend, double-crossed his boss, humiliated his girlfriend and got away with one murder after another. The film is basically a parody of "GoodFellas", but Leck Kwan makes Henry Hill look like an altar boy. The film is viciously and gloriously cynical; its humor drips like acid.

Private Confessions (1996) *****

Directed by Liv Ullmann. With Pernilla August, Max von Sydow and Samuel Froler. The final segment of Ingmar Bergman's trilogy about stormy relations between his parents, which began when they were children in "Fanny And Alexander" (1983) and continued with "The Best Intentions" (1992). The entire film consists of five long conversations between a middle-aged woman and the three men in her life: her husband, her confessor and her lover. Two people talking, with Sven Nykvist's stationary camera capturing their faces in close-ups - it's a quintessential Bergman film, a quiet masterpiece of suppressed emotions, tentatively exploring the most intimate aspects of a woman's life.

October 10, 1996

Ridicule (1996) ****

Bound (1996) ****

Brilliant film noir directed by Lana and Lilly Wachowski, back in the days when they were still known as Andy and Larry. But even in 1996, this film already felt like it was made by female directors.

Trainspotting (1996) ****

Adapted from Irvine Welsh's 1993 cult novel, ''Trainspotting'' is one of the best films about drug addiction. Starring a young Ewan McGregor long before his Obi-Wan Kenobi days, and directed by Danny Boyle long before his promising career has crashed and burned with flops like ''A Life Less Ordinary'' and ''The Beach'', the film has been described as ''a singular sensation, a visionary knockout spiked with insight, wild invention and outrageous wit'' (Rolling Stones), ''exciting, energetic, thought-provoking (...) a kinetic movie, where everything, including the camera, keeps moving'' (James Berardinelli), and ''a desolate, fast, funny, scary film'' (Michael Wood, Slate). But, above all, it's a comedy, with classic lines like: "Take the best orgasm you've ever had, multiply by 1000, and you're still nowhere near it", "Fuck it, we would have injected Vitamin C if only they'd made it illegal", and "I hate being Scottish. ... Some people hate the English, but I don't. They're just wankers. We, on the other hand, are colonized by wankers. We can't even pick a decent culture to be colonized by". And it's a sexy movie as well, with Kelly MacDonald (''Gosford Park'') in a hot erotic scene with McGregor. But ultimately, what makes this film so great is the realism with which the drug culture is depicted. It's not pretty, but it's not boring neither. We definitely don't want to live like them, but then again, we can definitely understand why drug addicts are living like that. It's not a pro- or anti-drug movie. It's better than that. It's honest.

Romeo And Juliet (1996) ****

Beaumarchais l'insolent (1996) ****

Love Serenade (1996) ****

Beyond Silence (1996) ****

Michael Collins (1996) ****

Tragic life of the Irish national hero.

The Frighteners (1996) ****

Take an idea or two from "The X-Files", add a touch of "Twin Peaks", borrow a motif from "The Terminator" and mix it with a large dose of "Natural Born Killers". Then put it in competent hands of Kiwi director Peter Jackson and you've got a masterful horror film - riotously funny, genuinely frightening, constantly surprising and incredibly innovative.

Emma (1996) ****

Very entertaining adaptation of Jane Austen's greatest novel. Gwyneth Paltrow plays the charming and intelligent heroine, who also happens to be quite vain and conceited. She constantly meddles in other peoples' affairs, with decidedly mixed results. It takes her a while to realize that, at 21, she might not know quite everything.

Brigands, Chapter VII (1996) ****

Black comedy about violence through the ages. Fascinating, clever, pitiless film.

January 1, 1997

December 12, 1996

November 11, 1996

October 10, 1996

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