January 1, 2010

The Last Airbender (2010) *

So far, this is definitely the worst film of 2010 - atrociously acted, lamely directed and boring from start to finish. It has cheesy special effects, incompetent cinematography, ridiculous script and lazy editing. A disaster of major proportions, considering that it was made by M. Night Shyamalan ("The Sixth Sense", "Signs", "The Village"). Even the 3D sucks.

The Tourist (2010) *

A surprising twist ending is the only good thing about this otherwise routine thriller about a mysterious femme fatale (Angelina Jolie) and an innocent American tourist (Johnny Depp) trying to escape from gangsters and Interpol agents. Vaguely Hitchcockian in themes and atmosphere, but curiously uninvolving.

Hereafter (2010) *

Serious melodrama about the afterlife.

Skyline (2010) *

Routine sci-fi/disaster/action/horror flick about aliens from Outer Space invading Los Angeles and kidnapping people using strange blue lights that attract them like moths to a flame.

Rabbit Hole (2010) *

Average melodrama about a couple coping with the loss of their son.

Killers (2010) *

An action/comedy/romance/suspense/thriller, which suffers from a serious identity crisis as far as its exact cinematic genre is concerned. It begins pleasantly enough with innocent Katherine Heigl falling in love and marrying a professional assassin. But it ends rather unpleasantly loosing all credibility whatsoever. Basically a cinematic equivelent of a crash and burn experience.

Clash Of The Titans (2010) *

An inferior remake of an already horrible 1981 Greek mythology epic about Perseus and Andromeda. And unlike its predecessor, it doesn't even have any nudity. Not even from beautiful Gemma Arterton. I love Roger Ebert's deliciously sarcastic review of the film. Best bits: "Most of the film involves terrifying battles between mortals and special effects (...) Perseus and his comrades must invade the lair of Medusa. Look at her, and you'll turn to stone! Maybe this explains the high quality of Greek sculpture (...) The struggles with Medusa take place on ledges over a flaming lake of lava far below. She must be beheaded, which Perseus does, thoughtfully keeping the head, which he carries around like the head of Alfredo Garcia. Is that a spoiler? The story has been out since 490 B.C. (...) I like the energy, the imagination, the silliness. I even like the one guy who doesn't have a beard. That's Perseus. From the first moment we see him as an adult until his last scene in the movie, he has the Standard Regulation Macho-Length Stubble on his chin. And in a city where all the men go to Jerry Garcia's barber, he has a burr cut on the short clipper setting".

Alice In Wonderland (2010) *

A disastrous adaptation of Lewis Carroll's immortal classic, literally massacred by Tim Burton and turned into a boring action flick with a finale straight out of "Transformers". Even Johnny Depp as The Mad Hatter and Helena Bonham Carter as The Red Queen cannot save this undigestible turkey. Watch the 1951 animated Disney version instead (still the finest adaptation ever, despite all the idiots claiming otherwise) or the 1976 porno version (probably the closest to what Carroll actually had in mind when he wrote the story).